Blog Entry- “Mrs. LeBron Wade” Free Advice for My Former Employers at the Cleveland Cavaliers!!!

Hey, ya’ll.

As a student of the game of basketball, I am constantly scouring the internet and the local paper to see how other teams in the NBA are performing. This morning, I was checking out how my friends over in Cleveland are doing while fixing up breakfast for lil Chris (Fruit Loops with chocolate milk) and Dwyaney (one pound of bacon and a pack of cigarettes).

Not bad, Cleveland. Not great, but better than I expected.

Consider the following “free and friendly advice” from somebody who knows that team pretty well.

What you need is to establish who on the team is going to be “the guy”. And by “the guy” I mean who is going to be the one to dribble the ball at the top of the key for 20 seconds and then charge toward the basket to either dish it out to a surprised team-mate giving him less than 2 seconds to do something with it or to jack up an irregular shot from wherever “the guy” happens to be. …

That’s how the Cleveland Cavaliers won over 60 games each of the last two seasons. And yet they’re not going to stick with what works?

Apparently, somebody thinks that 60-some odd wins isn’t good enough, and changed that brilliant package that worked so well for so long. Byron Scott, are you blind?

It doesn’t matter who does it. It doesn’t matter who is “the guy”. You have to appoint somebody to be the guy who dribbles the ball for 20 or 21 seconds at the top of the key and then just rushes towards the basket, often traveling, and then making an insane shot or skip-pass the ball to an unprepared and shocked teammate.

It’s call “basketball”, Cleveland.

If you want to win 35-45 games, and run boring and unimaginative plays for a while, then by all means, keep doing what you’re doing.

If want something more, then just follow the same recipe as the Cavaliers have been doing for years now. Just have Varejao or Boobie Gibson dribble the ball for at least 20 full seconds and then spaz out towards the basket and make an incredibly athletic play.

Best of luck! I kind of liked some of you guys, and wish you a bit of success this season!

-Bronnie

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3 Comments

  1. LeJudas James
    Posted November 23, 2010 at 9:26 am | Permalink

    I’m sure Dwyaney was in a great mood this morning after his wonderful 3 point performance in 37 minutes on 1-13 shooting & 1-5 from the foul line!

  2. Anonymous
    Posted November 23, 2010 at 4:33 pm | Permalink

    hilarious website keep it up!

  3. Timmy
    Posted November 27, 2010 at 1:40 am | Permalink

    The old surprise n shoot

    2 MVPs and 60+ wins. Cavs will take it. Byron only knows about championships so I don’t think he will take the good advice.

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