Listen to this. Lil Chris was so bummed out that we had a game on Halloween night, that we decided to throw a surprise Halloween Bash the day after! We had it all set up before we even left for the game in New Jersey.
We had a cast of local actors waiting at the house dressed up as scary ghouls and goblins. We had professional decorators come and turn half of our mansion into a spooky haunted house. We hired a fake lawyer to come and say he was going to sue all of us on behalf of the NBA for our illicit collusion we took part in prior to joining up here in Miami (Dwyaney didn’t know about that one, either! He almost shit a chicken!)…
And best of all, you should have seen the look on Chris’s face when Carmelo and Chris Paul were there waiting, dressed as a vampire (Carmelo) and a robot (Chris Paul). Both Denver and New Orleans had the day off as well, so we flew those two down to Miami for the festivities.
Lil’ Chris’s eyes lit up and he turned to me and squealed “Can I go get into my costume, LeMom?”
I told him to hurry, and he ran off and put on his “scary” tiger costume. When he has it on, he calls himself “Big Hungry”. The kids played all sorts of Halloween games and their shrieks from getting scared at the actors in the Haunted House filled the night. It was creepy hearing them as Dwyaney took me off into the kitchen and made love to me.
Dwyaney put a little damper on the festivities later when he screamed at Chris for eating 20 Snicker bars in a row.
“Damn it, Chris!” he shouted, which led to me crying for a few minutes. “How many f***ing cavities do you have, you little s***? Are you going to miss the next 7 games because of a f***ing root canal? I guess I shouldn’t complain, I’m sure Haslem will be able to replace your f***ing 9 points and 9 rebounds you worthless f***!”
Chris cried and ran to me, and I held him for a while. We cried together. Fortunately, Dwyane left to buy some smokes, and the kids got back into the Halloween spirit. I love my husband, but sometimes he’s too tough on the boy.
I’ve attached a picture of Chris in his costume. He’ll be mad at me for saying so, because he thinks he’s a scary tiger, but he looks so cute!
Happy Halloween, everybody!
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